


Little do You Know (I'll Love You 'Till the Sun Dies)

by HoneyByunnie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: An OC - Freeform, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flirting, Fluff, Junmyeon is a little shit, M/M, Slice of Life, chanyeol tolerates baekhyun, mentions of drug abuse, minseok sehun and junmyeon are good friends uwu, not the boys though dw, side seho, slight PTSD, the oc makes ME want to smack her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyByunnie/pseuds/HoneyByunnie
Summary: In which barista Chanyeol has a not-so-secret admirer, who comes by everyday and orders pumpkin spiced latte.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 22
Kudos: 91





	Little do You Know (I'll Love You 'Till the Sun Dies)

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!
> 
> -Mentions of drug abuse  
> -PTSD-like flashbacks  
> -A scene where a character overdoses (not the boys)  
> -Anxiety/panic attack
> 
> With that being said, I want to thank a lot of my friends that have helped me finish this. There's Bonnie, who helped come up with plot points, "Skreetskreeb_immortalweeb" (she insisted on that name) who gave me inspiration when i hit writers block, @ YAO_eXoXBack on twitter who pulled me out of the insecurities i had with my writing and actually gave me motivation to finish (she draws pretty dan good too, check her out). And finally, there's my girlfriend and her friend who read this before I put it up, and gave me their feedback.
> 
> Anyway, this was half written in my docs for two years, so im really thankful to these people hehe. Hope you guys enjoy this fic. I cried and stressed over it :)).

“Your boyfriend is here,” Junmyeon grinned, taking the can of whipped cream from Chanyeol’s hands.

The announcement made Chanyeol roll his eyes. He turned to Junmyeon, mumbling, “he’s not my boyfriend,” before sighing and making his way to the front. 

The blond smirked, “and yet, you seem to be in a hurry to see him.”

Chanyeol glared at the other.  _ Him _ being there meant it was Chanyeol’s cue to take an order. All the barista’s knew the man would linger until the giant was at the register anyway. So he wiped his hands on his apron, for no reason at all, and he walked through the swing doors to stand at the register. 

The brunet male Chanyeol did not want to see was standing there, to the side of the counter so he was not in the way if anyone else wanted to order. He was leaning on his elbow and scrolling on his phone, not even looking to see if Chanyeol was there. The latter wanted to scoff.

Instead, he cleared his throat, making the boy look up at him. He broke into the flirtatious smile he always gave Chanyeol, putting his phone away. He leaned forward onto the counter on both his elbows, seemingly giving Chanyeol his complete and utmost attention.

“You look amazing today,” he said, his eyes gazing into Chanyeol’s as if he wanted to set his whole being on fire.

The taller cleared his throat again, still not used to the… attention, we can call it. “Can I get you anything?”

Chanyeol cringed internally at his diction, knowing the answer coming up would probably be suggestive. That’s what he gets for wanting this part time job. The man cocked his head, his smile seemingly saying ‘this is too easy’, “How polite,” his smile widened, “since you asked so sweetly, may I have your number?”

The barista wanted to slam his own head into the wall a couple of times. “No you may not. Anything else?”

The shorter scoffed playfully, straightening up, “then I’ll have the regular. Pumpkin spiced latte.” 

Chanyeol nodded and tapped in the order. “Can I have a name?”

“Baby.”

“No name then. Alright,” Chanyeol said, sorting the money, printing the receipt, and grabbing a cup, “it’ll be ready.” He heard the other click his tongue and chuckle, before walking away. Chanyeol scrunched his nose, pouring the coffee. 

This happened every single day. The Latte Boy would always come during Chanyeol’s shift, flirt, order PSL, and leave. Without even giving a sensible name. He remembered the first time it had happened. It was a spring evening, and the dark haired male remembered being a hot, blushing mess by the end of the order, going and sitting in the freezer, and cooling his face down with cans of whipped cream.

Chanyeol considered himself improved and immune to the come ons, except The Latte Boy always had something new to say, and sometimes he’d be caught off guard. And because of this, all his coworkers, and even some of the regular customers, would tease Chanyeol that he’s his boyfriend.

Chanyeol popped the lid onto the cup and placed it on the counter for the male to pick up. He wasn’t going to hand it to him. You only make that mistake once. “Medium pumpkin spiced latte.”

The Latte Boy sauntered up and picked it up, his eyes on Chanyeol the whole time. He sent him a final wink, “see you tomorrow.”

And with that, he turned away and walked out. The barista let out a loud sigh and went back inside. Junmyeon was putting away washed dishes and cutlery but when he heard the door swing open, he looked up and shot Chanyeol a shit-eating grin. The taller huffed, “don’t say anything.”

“I understand. You don’t like talking about your relationship too much,” Junmyeon snickered to himself. Chanyeol just rolled his eyes. “There is no relationship.”

“You wish there is,” the blond teased, barely managing to dodge a splash of water while washing a spoon. The former snorted, both at Junmyeon’s clumsiness and the answer. “I don’t.”

Junmyeon looked up at him, “why not? He’s cute.”

“Then you date him.”

“Bitch, I have a boyfriend.”

“Both of you can date him then.”

“Just shut up.”

\--

_ “We should go out today.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He looked at him warily, unsure of what his statement entailed. The other noticed. _

_ “Not to a party, relax,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. _

_ He sighed in relief, a smile pulling at his lips as he wrapped a lanky arm around his boyfriend. “Where do you want to go?” _ _   
  
_

_ “The arcade maybe,” the boy said thoughtfully, “but we’re not going to compete at shooting hoops. You cheat.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Again, babe, my long legs and arms don’t count as cheating.” _

  
  
  
  


Chanyeol was bouncing a bouncy ball on the wall instead of doing his report. Or as he called it, he was “thinking”. He huffed and looked at the ball in his hand. It was blue and white and swirly. It reminded him of a cloudy sky, or spilt milk on the blue counter in the kitchen at work. He got it from those dispenser machines you put a quarter in. Junmyeon got some stupid slime that melted in an hour. Sometimes, God just loves you more than others.

His phone buzzed and he gave up on all hope for his studies and picked it up. It was a notification from instagram, saying he had a new follower. Chanyeol tapped on it. 

He looked at the profile picture. And then he made a “hold the fuck up” face and looked again. He squinted at the screen. And well, yes, it was The Latte Boy. 

Chanyeol wondered how he had found his Instagram. Did he ask Junmyeon? He seemed like the type who would, with that confidence and gall. And Junmyeon would totally give it to him, because he’s a little shit.

He scrolled through The Latte Boy’s instagram page, looking at his model-esque pictures. He was cute. Actually, he was gorgeous as fuck, but you didn’t hear that from Chanyeol. He read his name out loud. “BBH.”

“BBH,” Chanyeol mumbled to himself. “Is his name really Baby? Oh my god, was he just being really polite to me the whole time and-”

His rambling was interrupted by another buzz. A DM this time, from this BBH. Chanyeol’s thumb hovered over the DM, not knowing whether to answer right away or not. In that time, BBH had sent another. Chanyeol finally tapped, curious.

“Found you, baby,” the text read, “and stop staring at my pictures, you might accidentally catch feels.” Chanyeol scoffed. And then he scoffed again, because he could not  _ believe _ him. And he sent a winky face? W h o does he think he is?!

In disbelief, he started texting him back. “I am not going to catch feelings,” Chanyeol typed and then looked it over once, before pressing send.

Buzz. “Alright then, why don’t you follow me back, Channie-”

Chanyeol’s frustrated groan could be heard from the other apartment. 

  
  


Then again, sometimes God doesn’t love you more than others.

\--

_ “Acid is pretty nice, you should try some.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He snorted around a mouthful of pizza. “Or I shouldn’t. And neither should you, really.” _

_ “Lighten up, baby, life isn’t just textbooks and cheap alcohol.” _

_ “But it shouldn’t be life threatening substances either.” _

_ “We’re not having this conversation again.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Or we should have th-” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He cut off his own reply with a sigh as the other got up abruptly, and left. _

  
  
  
  


The next day at university, Chanyeol was tired. He was up all night ignoring BBH’s DM’s. And by ignoring, he read them all from his notifications and didn’t reply. Because he found out that when you say one thing to him, he can turn it into something else that’ll make Chanyeol want to throw himself off the balcony.

He heard someone sit on the bench next to him, and he rubbed his eyes, knowing it was Junmyeon anyway. He groaned into his hands and ran his hands through his hair. He caught a couple tangles. Maybe he needed a trim.

Chanyeol heard a snort from beside him, “who did you last night?”

The taller rolled his eyes and faced his trash mouth of a friend, “if by “did” you mean “kept me awake by annoying the shit out of me”: the guy who hits on me at work.”

Junmyeon’s eyes widened, a surprised “mm!” came out of him while he was drinking his iced tea. “You’re serious?,” a weird kind of smile stretched on his lips, “what, did he follow you home and annoy you till you let him fuck you?”

Chanyeol scoffed, “First of all, nobody fucked anybody. He found me on insta and didn’t stop DMing me. He really just,” the ebony haired man waved his hands about, angrily pouting, “twisted every single thing i said.”

Junmyeon already had Chanyeol’s phone and was scrolling through his DM’s. He laughed, “wow, he really doesn’t give a shit about double texting.” 

The latter groaned immediately, remembering all the buzzing from his phone late at night, ruffling his hair frustratingly. “That’s not even  _ double _ texting, he texted me a whole essay.”

“You know,” Junmyeon said, “you’re entertaining him a whole lot for someone who doesn’t like him.”

“You know,” Chanyeol mocked, “you really should stop thinking. Nothing good ever comes from it.”

Then, a tall, broad shouldered, red haired boy jumped onto the bench next to Junmyeon. “Hi babe,” he said, giving the blond a kiss, which turned into more than one. Junmyeon, in turn, giggled while Chanyeol watched with a disgusted look on his face. “Sehun, I’m trying to be not grossed out here,” he said, reaching to push his head away from Junmyeon.

“Suck it up, homophobe,” Sehun scrunched his nose at the older one. 

“Look Hun, Chanyeol is scared of commitment,” Junmyeon handed his boyfriend Chanyeol’s phone, and the boy took it, chuckling while reading the texts.

“That’s not true,” Chanyeol sighed. He needed new friends. But then again, these knew everything about him so he’d have to kill them before letting them go. Too much work. Chanyeol is too lazy to go to jail.

“Oh, he’s cute,” the red head said, probably looking through his posts, “why are you scared to date him?”

“I’m not-” the former groaned, then cut it off with a sigh. “He’s just… fuckboy-y.”

Sehun pursed his lips and chose not to retort, still scrolling. “How did you meet him? What school does he go to?”

Junmyeon leaned in to see what Sehun was looking at, “Don’t know. He always comes to the cafe to flirt with Chanyeol.”

“Maybe I should move to Canada and change my name,” Chanyeol mumbled offhandedly, “how does Jean Philippe sound?” 

Junmyeon snorted in reply. “You wouldn’t last a day, and you-”

He got cut off by his boyfriend’s hands waving in front of him, trying to grab their attention. “Wait, he follows Minseok,” Sehun said, turning the phone so they could see, “maybe he goes to the same university as him?”

“Should we ask?” Junmyeon asked.

Chanyeol scrunched his eyebrows, “who cares if he goes to the same college? And besides, I haven’t talked to him for a while.”

“Well, Chanyeollie hyung,” Sehun handed him the phone back, “we can find out if he’s “fuckboy-y” or not and you can finally get laid.”

“And besides, I kind of miss Minseok,” Junmyeon said, leaning into Sehun. Chanyeol sighed and shrugged. He missed him too. 

“Shit,” Sehun said suddenly, looking at the time on his phone, “babe, we have to go to class.” The couple got up and bid their goodbyes, while Chanyeol sat there for no reason at all. 

He normally spent an hour after his classes ended to spend time with the two. No matter how great of friends they were and have always been, time gets in the way and pulls them apart. It’s how it always is, and though the three of them still see each other, it’s taken Minseok away from them completely.

The four of them had been friends since elementary and spent all their time together. They had spent weekends at each others’ houses, in parks, at the movies. They've always trick or treated together, and have spent more time together than anywhere else. 

And then they had graduated high school, and chose different courses. Minseok had gone off to another university on the other side of the city, while the other three had different classes. And it especially didn’t help how they had grown apart in senior year of highschool.

And maybe it was time to talk to him again, Chanyeol thought, maybe life could be like it used to, before everything went wrong.

\--

“No- no, the blueberry muffins go in that tray, and the banana nut ones go-” Chanyeol grabbed the box from her hands, “I’ll do it for now. You go inside.”

He sighed and placed the muffins into the correct trays. The other day, a new girl got hired, and she knew  _ nothing _ about  _ anything _ . Hye So Ra was a wide eyed, pouty lipped girl, born with a silver spoon up her ass and all that. But Chanyeol just wonders why the good lord dumped her on his lap.

He heard the door swing open behind him and he silently prayed it wasn’t her. And when Junmyeon stood next to him, he exhaled in relief.

“She’s… something,” the blond sighed as well, which was surprising since he liked to befriend everyone. 

Chanyeol ran his fingers through his hair. “How was she even hired?”

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon said, “it’s like she hasn’t seen an unpeeled orange in her life.”

“Chanyeol,” the said boy turned, his face straight while trying to find the urge to wince. “The water is getting inside the gloves when I’m washing the dishes,” So Ra frowned and her eyes glistened as if she had surgically implanted diamonds in there.

Chanyeol offered a smile, “that happens.”

She whined, “but I just moisturized my hands.” Chanyeol’s eyebrows went up and Junmyeon just walked back into the kitchen, shaking his head. “Can I just do something else?” the girl said, bringing his attention back to her. She was already taking off her rubber gloves.

Chanyeol sighed again, and if he had a buck for everytime he did that day alone, he’d quit his job and buy the state of Hawaii. “Okay. Do you think you’ll be able to make coffee?”

So Ra smiled and nodded, to which Chanyeol awkwardly smiled back and picked up a cup.

“Channie!” the male turned towards the familiar voice and sighed yet again. The CO2 buildup in the atmosphere will spike today.

The Latte Boy- well, now he’s BBH. BBH stood there at the counter, earlier than he normally was. Chanyeol knew because he dreaded the onslaught of flirtatious comments, and always checked the clock anxiously. “You’re early today,” Chanyeol pointed out, voicing his thoughts. 

And then he realized he normally wouldn’t have said that, but perhaps BBH could be defined as a “friendly face”.

His “sight for sore eyes” raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Are we keeping track of the time now?”

Chanyeol chuckled, once and soundless. And then he noticed the girl standing next to him. So Ra was confused, looking between the two as if it were a reality show. 

Chanyeol handed her the cup. “He wants a pumpkin spiced latte. You start making it and I’ll help when you need it.”

“But he didn’t even say his order,” So Ra scoffed.

“He knows,” BBH said, winking at the dark haired boy. Chanyeol rolled his eyes and took the money from him, gesturing to the seats and signalling BBH to wait.

“So what do I do first?” She stood with the cup in her hand and looked up at Chanyeol with those big, glistening eyes. Chanyeol pointed to the Espresso machine and she scrunched her nose at it. “I don’t know how to use that.”

Chanyeol sighed again. He took the cup from her and went over to the machine. “Okay watch me first. And then the next one, you can do it yourself.”

So Ra nodded and did as he asked. But Chanyeol shouldn’t have expected her to to shut up for too long, because as he was watching the espresso fill in the cup, he heard her ask, “so does he like you or something?”

The taller looked at her and stopped pouring the espresso. “Who?” He continued to make the latte.

“Him,” she nodded towards BBH, who was sitting on the barstools in front of the counter, on his phone. 

Chanyeol shrugged. “You’re supposed to be watching me.”

“Yeah, well he is too.” Chanyeol glanced at the boy and they made eye contact. BBH shot him a wink. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, focusing back onto the drink.

“Do you like him too?”

“Look. So Ra,” Chanyeol put down the cup and turned to face her. “You have to learn how to work this by the end of today. Junmyeon and I can’t keep doing your work for you.”

She scoffed. Chanyeol was near fed up with her attitude and opened his mouth to comment on it, but someone else called out for him. “Babe, my latte.”

Chanyeol pursed his lips and grabbed the drink. He held it out to BBH. And the day’s troubles might have proved to be too much for him, because he forgot that he should just place the drink down.

Chanyeol felt warm fingers ghost the skin of his hand. His eyes widened and his face heated up, arm twitching to fight the urge to yank it back. BBH was staring at him with a small smile on his face. He grabbed hold of the cup while Chanyeol only continued staring at him, frozen.

“You seem stressed, baby,” the shorter’s voice came delicately soft, “everything okay?”

All Chanyeol could do was nod, dumbfounded. BBH’s smile widened. He took the cup and turned away, leaving.

\--

_ “Did you eat today?” he heard, but didn’t look up from his laptop screen. _

_ “I didn’t.” _

_ A tongue click. “You can’t just drown yourself with school work.” _

_ He pursed his lips, still furiously typing on his keyboard.  _

_ The other took his silence as an intent not to answer, and sighed. “I’ll be going out tonight, baby. Don’t wait up for me.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He felt a pull in his chest, fingers hovering above the keyboard as his mind swam. He said nothing. _

_ He heard the squeak of shoes on the wood floor in front of the door, and then the click of the lock turning. He refused to look up as he heard the door open, and he waited for it to close again. _

_ “Eat something.” The words made his jaw tighten, but made no move to answer.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The door shut again. _

  
  
  


Chanyeol was poor. Poor meant he had a tiny house. In fact, it wasn’t even a house. It was more like a tiny hotel room with a kitchen. But that also meant less cleaning. 

Being poor also meant no food. Hunger :(. Just kidding, Chanyeol wasn’t really _ poor _ . He was a college student, which meant instant ramen and cooking skills that made Gordan Ramsay want to die.

So Chanyeol was making his way downtown, walking fast to the convenience store. It was ten pm and Chanyeol had realized he was hungry. He had proceeded to check his living room/kitchen and had further realized he was out of food. 

When he got inside, he was pretty sure he was the only one there. Chanyeol went straight for the instant ramen. He grabbed a few packs and then hit the refrigerators, grabbing a six pack or two of beer.

His phone buzzed. 

Chanyeol put all his stuff on the counter, and the cashier started cashing them. Chanyeol pulled out his phone and groaned when he saw it was from So Ra. She had made him give her his number earlier that day, for “work related questions.” So far, all she was sending were questions for their one-sided 20 Questions game.

“It’s raining.” Chanyeol looked up at the cashier, who was looking out the glass doors. He followed his gaze, and it indeed was raining. 

“Is it okay if I sit until the rain goes down?” Chanyeol asked, pointing at the plastic stools. 

“Yeah, sure.”

So Chanyeol went and sat down, looking out at the rain. The fall weather meant chilly breezes, and sometimes rain. And rain in this weather can get you colds (and maybe coronavirus, stay at home, kids). He pulled out his phone to text So Ra back. 

Chanyeol started texting her, trying to find the words to tell her to hish up her stupid mouth in the politest way, when another notification popped up. From BBH.

“Was everything okay today, babe?” he had texted. Chanyeol clicked the notification and just read the text. He read it again. And again, until BBH texted “stop staring and answer.”

Chanyeol snorted soundlessly. “It’s nothing, the new kid is a handful.” 

He didn’t know why he had bothered to answer. But he was bored and the only other person to talk to was So Ra, who had noticed that Chanyeol read her texts and didn’t reply. She was currently bombarding him with more texts, and he was getting annoyed with the amount of times he had to dismiss the notifications.

“What’d she do?” BBH texted. Chanyeol rubbed his eyes, which were strained from staring at his laptop for the past few hours. He really didn’t have to answer back.

“She doesn’t know how to do anything. Can’t focus, either.” Chanyeol sighed, shaking his head when he wondered if Junmyeon was right. Maybe he does entertain him too much.

“I heard her talking about me :( what did she say? D:” The dark haired boy snorted again, typing, “Asked if you like me.”

“And did you tell her how we’re dating?” Chanyeol rolled his eyes at the winky kissy face that followed.

“I told her it didn’t matter,” He texted back. The whole time, Chanyeol kept wondering why he’s still talking to BBH.

“Tsk. You should’ve just said we were dating. Would’ve stopped her.”

Chanyeol’s brows furrowed at that. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he texted.

But the brunet decided not to answer, apparently, because instead he went, “This is the longest you’ve ever talked to me :).”

Chanyeol sighed and looked up. The rain had gone down. 

So he gathered his things and left, leaving BBH on read.

\--

The next day at work, BBH was there for the entirety of Chanyeol’s shift. Chanyeol himself was not very bothered anymore; the brunet’s presence became familiar, in a way, even though the taller did make a conscious attempt to avoid speaking to him.

However, So Ra was downright pissed, to BBH’s apparent amusement.

“Are we not allowed to kick him out?” she snapped,  _ right in front of _ the subject of her irritation, from behind the counter. If BBH heard it, he definitely didn’t show it. He just kept scrolling on his phone.

“No, So Ra, this is a cafe,” Junmyeon replied, absentminded while refilling the caramel bottles. The girl huffed.

“Sir,” she called out to him, and he looked up with a half smile on his lips with his eyebrows raised expectantly, as if he was looking at something funny. “If you’re going to stay here, you have to buy something.” At that point, Junmyeon looked up at what was going on.

“I already bought a latte, are you trying to rob me?” BBH said, the corners of his quirked in amusement.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t just stay here,” So Ra had a hand on her hip and she stared at the man as if she had the guts or the physical and mental capacity to hurt him. BBH just chuckled, his eyebrow raised.

“I don’t think there seems to be a problem with anyone else here,” he looked at Junmyeon. The blond just shrugged.

“Sir, either you-” 

“Let it go, So Ra,” Junmyeon tried to intervene.

“No,” she practically fumed, frustrated, “he’s been here for three hours and all he’s bought is a latte-”

“That you didn’t even make,” BBH cut in, his chin resting on the heel of his palm as if this was the most interesting conversation he’d engaged in this past week.

So Ra looked taken aback, hand on her chest. “You know what-”

“What is going on here?”

They all turned to see Chanyeol standing there, not impressed. He looked between the three of them, waiting for one of them to fill him in. 

Finally, Junmyeon sighed. “So Ra wants your boyfriend to leave because he’s not buying anything.”

Chanyeol rubbed his temple upon hearing the word “boyfriend”. He didn’t even have the energy to tell Junmyeon to shut up. He looked at So Ra, whose cheeks were tinted pink from anger and humiliation. “Well?”

“He can’t just sit here,” her voice wobbled, and she weakly gestured towards BBH.

Chanyeol looked around at the mostly empty cafe and back at her. “Why not?”

“Well,” she stuttered, not able to look Chanyeol in the eye. She could hardly finish the sentence either, her voice low and mumbling. 

Chanyeol sighed, “I don’t get paid enough for this.”

So Ra finally went inside in a rush and Junmyeon let out a laugh. “Is she serious?”

“Privileged kids, man,” BBH shook his head, the smirk still on his face.

“At least you came in before she said some shit,” the blond said to Chanyeol, and the latter just rolled his eyes. 

“Is it bad I want her fired?” he asked playfully, but not really.

“On another note,” BBH smiled, his hand back under his chin, “you didn’t say anything when he called me your boyfriend.”

Chanyeol deadpanned, “this is why we can’t have good things.”

“You’re the only good thing I need.”

“And you can’t have it.”

“Chanyeol,” he whined, “work with me here.”

Chanyeol snorted and turned around to go back inside. But then he turned back abruptly. “Do you want something though?” he asked the brunet.

“No,” he smiled, “I’m good.”

“Are you sure? It’ll be on the house.” Only because he felt bad about the juvenile behavior from his collegue. 

“Yeah?” BBH hummed, “how about a date?”

And at that, Chanyeol pivoted on the ball of his foot and went through the doors into the kitchen.

BBH clicked his tongue. He looked over at Junmyeon, who was watching the whole exchange. “Too much?”

Junmyeon shrugged, “nah, you good.”

\--

_ “Why do you keep doing this?” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Yeol, stop.” _

_ “No. Every time, I back away. And every time, you end up unconscious. Why don’t you fucking listen to me?” _

_ A sigh. “You know I can handle myself.” _

_ “You passed out for two hours! You can’t handl-” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Baby please, I don’t want this to come between us.” _

_ It was silent for a second, neither of their gazes wavering. “There’s nothing for it to come between, because this is all we are.” _

  
  
  


It was two AM. So why was Chanyeol’s phone ringing?

Chanyeol was not a heavy sleeper, so he woke up after the first few rings. He reached for his phone on the bedside table, and by the time he found it, the ringing stopped. But that’s okay, because the idiot of a human being rang again.

It was So Ra. It was _ not _ the time to be dealing with her. Chanyeol was supposed to sleep all six hours, get locked and loaded, be ready to face the demon with soft, shiny hair but no. The demon herself wakes him up.

He picked up, only because he knew she’d never stop calling. “Chanyeollie,” she slurred on the other end, and Chanyeol heard dull bass in the background.

“So Ra, do you know what time it is?” Chanyeol was trying so hard not to let his eyes shut.

“Are you worried about me, Yeollie?” Chanyeol would have face palmed at her stupidity if he wasn’t so tired. 

Instead, he pulled a face. “You called me, So Ra.”

She giggled, “and you picked up.”

“Because you- okay no,” he sighed. It was too early to sigh. “What do you need?”

“Take me home,” she sniffed. Chanyeol almost groaned out loud.

“Don’t you-” And the line went dead.

This time, Chanyeol did groan out loud. “She’s not serious.”

\--

Chanyeol was sitting at the steps in front of his apartment lobby door, waiting for his ride. He had called Junmyeon a few minutes ago, but the blonde had groggily told him he couldn’t do it, so he would call someone for him. And Chanyeol was in no position to negotiate at 2:30 in the morning.

His eyes felt heavy and it was cold on the concrete stairs, but Chanyeol tried not to fall asleep or else he’d get kidnapped, or that’s what his mother always told him.

It was at times like these Chanyeol wished he owned a car. He mostly never found the need to, usually using public transport or his bike. But the bar was at least fifteen minutes away, and in his sleepy state, it would not be very safe for him. Additionally, there was no transportation at this time.

Suddenly, car headlights shone in his eyes, making him squint, and the rest of the car pulled up in front of him. 

Chanyeol got up, relieved, but still a bit apprehensive. The widow started rolling down and Chanyeol kept his distance because it would be anyon- ah.

Of course.

BBH looked up at him from the window, looking fresh as a daisy or whatever. He definitely did not look as if he had just rolled out of bed. “So this is where you live, huh?”

Chanyeol wanted to just... collapse and wither. He was not sure if he could handle the flirting this early. But then his phone started ringing again and he pulled the door handle and got in. “Just drive,” he said.

“It’s my car,” he heard him laugh, although the car started moving, “I can do what I want.”

“You didn’t have to come,” Chanyeol mumbled.

“And leave my baby boy helpless?”

The taller groaned, “please, it’s too early for this.”

BBH laughed again. “Where are we going?”

“The bar across from that dentist's office,” Chanyeol said and leaned onto the dashboard, resting his forehead. He had managed to decrypt her typos in the text she sent of her location earlier.

“This late?”

He sighed, “So Ra needs someone to pick her up.”

BBH became silent. Chanyeol thought he wasn’t going to say anything anymore, so he decided to close his eyes until they got there.

“She likes you, you know.”

Chanyeol’s eyes opened again and he turned his head to face BBH. “The fuck?”

“She likes you,” the shorter man said again, focused on the road. And it was different for Chanyeol, seeing his face serious and eyes something other than amused or coy. They seemed to look deep, as cliche as that is, and as if they could be endless, and Chanyeol might have been mesmerized. 

“She picked a fight with me because I like you,” he went on, and Chanyeol just listened, mostly tired. “She called you to pick her up. That’s a big fat neon sign right there.”

Chanyeol groaned. “I don’t need more of this,” he sat up and ran his hand through his hair.

“That’s right, I’m all you need,” he heard BBH chuckle. “That's why you should have told her we were dating.”

“I’m not doing no fanfiction shit,” Chanyeol huffed while BBH pulled into a parking spot.

“Alright,” the brunet shot him a wide smile that said ‘wallow in your misery :)’. “Go ahead then.”

Chanyeol groaned again, unbelievably tired. But he got out and shut the car door. He looked up at the blinking neon sign and the silhouettes of people in the windows. Chanyeol shook his head and went for the doors.

When he got inside, the strong smell of alcohol hit him immediately. As he looked around, he saw a few people on the verge of blacking out from drinking. He looked around some more, and then he finally spotted a familiar head of shiny blonde hair at the bar.

So Ra was drinking a tall glass of something, and Chanyeol was pretty sure it was not her third, or even tenth. The bartender looked at Chanyeol when he was beside So Ra. “She had a little more than she could handle, but she kept insisting”

“Thanks man,” Chanyeol nodded at him in gratitude. So Ra had looked behind her when the bartender started talking and saw Chanyeol there.

“Yeollie!” she smiled up at him and Chanyeol winced when she got up and drunkenly latched onto him. He started unceremoniously walking her outside, which was more like dragging because her feet worked as much as she did: meaning not at all.

So Ra kept giggling and Chanyeol was having trouble having a hold on her. He managed to get her outside and suddenly, she was standing up as if she had feet the whole time, and she was just being a nuisance. She grabbed the sides of Chanyeol’s face and shoved her own all up in his  _ personal _ personal space.

Chanyeol let go of her, shocked, until she fell back into him drunkenly. He held onto her waist, quite certain she was going to fall and take him down with her.

“Chanyeol,” her voice was quiet and Chanyeol was praying for a miracle to get him out of this, because her grip on his shoulders was akin to a hydraulic press. So Ra leaned in and he felt her breath on his lips, smelled the alcohol reeking off her so much, it clogged his nose along with her perfume.

Then someone honked their car horn. So Ra jumped and let go of Chanyeol, and the latter sighed in relief. “Babe, hurry up, I’m tired,” he heard his miracle call out.

Chanyeol heard the girl scoff and grip onto him harder. He ignored that and practically dragged her to the car, pretty much dumping her into the back seat before climbing into the passengers.

And then he heard So Ra speak up. “Why the fuck are you here?”

Chanyeol anxiously glanced at the side of BBH’s face and his own probably looked horrified, but the other was quite calm. “That’s rude, So Ra,” Chanyeol chastised as if a mother would, turning to look at her.

“Oppa doesn’t have a driver's licence, sweetheart,” BBH chuckled, unaffected. He pulled the car out of park and started driving.

“You’re a pest. Yeollie doesn’t like you,” she sneered, and said man was sweating buckets because she couldn’t shut her mouth. “Why can’t you take a hint?”

The brunet clicked his tongue, “take a hint like you do?”

Chanyeol felt the tension in the car rise, and he was pretty sure if BBH didn’t stop answering back, she’d strangle him.

“Stop coming to the cafe, you bitch!”

Chanyeol's hand shot out and touched BBH’s arm. When the latter’s eyes flickered towards him, Chanyeol shook his head no. 

Chanyeol didn’t see how the man’s features softened in the passing lights while he stayed silent, a small smile creeping on his face.

\--

After a long drive, BBH finally stopped at Chanyeol’s apartment. He nudged the taller man, who was asleep, head leaning against the window. Chanyeol opened his puffy eyes groggily and looked around. When he saw the door to his lobby, he straightened up and rubbed his eyes (dON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE OR YOU GET CORONAVIRUS). 

“Thank you,” he said, trying to shake off the sleep. 

“It’s cool, baby,” he heard BBH say. “Now get out, I have to drive back to the other side of the city to get home.”

Although he said it playfully, Chanyeol looked at him with wide eyes when he remembered BBH knew Minseok, meaning they probably go to the same college, which was across the city. “You came all the way here in the middle of the night?” 

The taller man felt bad. He had woken up at the devil's hour and driven all the way across the city to pick up some girl. And the whole ride, he got cursed at and hadn’t even gotten sleep like Chanyeol had. And now he had to drive back? Ooh, Chanyeol felt  _ bad. _

BBH shrugged, “I have afternoon classes, so I can sleep in. It’s cool.”

Chanyeol nodded slowly. “Okay well, thanks..”

He almost stumbled out of the car because of his tired limbs, and grabbed the car door to close it. But, as his neck prickled from the coolness of the metal, he didn’t. 

“You wanna sleep at my place tonight?” Chanyeol said it so quietly, he almost didn’t hear himself. And even if he did, he wouldn’t have believed he said it.

“Did you say something?” BBH leaned to see Chanyeol’s face. The taller wavered. “Do you… want to..”

“Want to?”

“Crash for tonight.” Chanyeol felt stiff and awkward, but BBH’s smile lit up the street. “Are you worrying about me, my Chanyeollie?” he teased. 

Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck at that, his face felt quite hot. “I feel bad,” he said, “it’s my fault you’re out here.”

BBH smiled, humming, “I’ll go park then.” Chanyeol nodded and shut the door, and BBH drove off to a parking spot. 

Chanyeol’s conscience was very big, you see. Even Junmyeon, Sehun, and Minseok said it; he’s not making excuses. He was a very nice kid and that’s why he’s inviting a man who has been flirting with him for a couple months, who he doesn’t even know the name of, into his house.

But then Chanyeol started  _ thinking _ . He’s not one of those dedicated killers, right? Sehun always said he’d die one day because of his sympathy and kindness. And he’s read of people killing their roommates and eating them! But BBH can’t be a killer, right? He’s just a fuckboy, and you can either have a fuckboy or a killer, you can’t have both.

Right?

“Regretting this already?”

Chanyeol nearly jumped out of his skin when BBH’s voice came some close. He didn’t even hear him walking back. Maybe it’s a murderer thing.

Chanyeol didn’t say anything and just walked through the lobby doors and up the stairs, and he listened  _ very _ closely to the footsteps of the man behind him. They were very soft. Chanyeol got chills.

Chanyeol punched in the code to his apartment and he stepped inside, feeling cold sweat drip down his back as BBH stepped in after him.

“Wow,” the brunet said, looking around his tiny room, “it’s small.”

Chanyeol barely acknowledged the comment as the door clicked shut behind him, watching his every move. 

“Oh look, just one bed. Isn’t that a shame?” BBH shot him a sleazy smile, and Chanyeol felt his knees wobble. He’s going to be strangled in his sleep!

Chanyeol nervously watched as the other pulled off the excess layers of clothing he had on, kicked off his shoes, and made himself comfortable on his relatively small bed. He looked up at the taller and patted the spot next to him, still smiling. “Aren’t you coming to bed, Channie?”

While BBH was busy giggling to himself, Chanyeol pushed his shoes off and inched forward stiffly, staring at the spot where he was supposed to sleep. Then he felt a hand wrap around his wrist and yank him onto the bed, “relax, I won’t bite. Unless you’re into that.”

Chanyeol was too much of a scared piece of shit to even react to the comments, so he just sat up, tense, and chuckled lamely. Maybe if he laughed, BBH wouldn’t kill him.

But then BBH’s smile dropped. He furrowed his brows and his eyes searched Chanyeol’s face. “Are you okay?”

Chanyeol couldn’t stop the yelp when BBH put his hand on the former's knee, but he retracted it, surprised. “Chanyeol?”

“...you’re not going to kill me, right?”

BBH stared at him, eyebrows raised. And then they scrunched, and he registered the question. “Am I going to… what? Did you say kill or kiss?”

“K-kill,” Chanyeol stuttered as the brunet started laughing.

“Chanyeol,” he said, smiling, “when have I given off the vibe that I’d  _ kill _ you instead of kiss you?”

This time, Chanyeol was the one who stared. He felt his face getting hot, and his ears must’ve been red in the dim light of his lamp that he had forgotten to turn off. 

“Well, I don’t even know your name. I don’t know much about you and I thought that this might’ve been a bad idea..” he trailed off, embarrassed. 

“Then you should’ve just told me to leave.”

“T-that would’ve been rude..” Chanyeol avoided eye contact with the brunet, feeling like an idiot. Maybe the lack of sleep was getting to him.

“So,” BBH started, and Chanyeol couldn’t quite figure out the look on his face, “theoretically, if I kissed you instead, you wouldn’t be horrified?”

The tone he used made it sound more like an affirmation, and Chanyeol couldn’t figure out what he was playing at.

“I-I suppose not..”

And the next second, he wondered if he took some pills or something, because he felt lips on his for the hottest split-second.

“Should’ve just asked if I was going to kiss you. Now I know where you draw the line,” BBH winked at him, accompanied with that shiny eyed, close lipped smile. “Now sleep, baby. I take it you have to wake up early.”

Chanyeol was dumbfounded when the smaller man took it upon himself to unzip his hoodie and toss it on his desk chair. Chanyeol noticed he took the opportunity to let his fingers linger, but never too much. Then he laid down, smiling up at Chanyeol expectantly. 

He scooted and laid down as well, eyes still wide. He felt BBH’s arms wrap around him and felt his head rest on Chanyeol's shoulder, his breath hitting his neck. BBH sighed happily, as if this was going to be the best sleep he’s ever had, but Chanyeol? 

He was not getting much sleep that night.

\--

_ He watched with soft eyes as his boyfriend laughed at something his friend said. He saw the carefree smile and happy eyes, squinting the way he loved. _

_ He felt fond grazes on his thigh, even though his boyfriend’s attention wasn’t on him. And the former loved how his hand would gravitate towards him anyway. _

_ He saw the way his words had everyone wrapped around his finger. He loved those eyes, he loved those lips, and he loved his words, his voice, his laugh. He loved every bit of him. _

_ But he wondered, as his boyfriend leaned into him, he wondered how those eyes could look so happy, when they’ve been red, when his pupils have been blown, when they’ve been  _ closed _ more often than not. _

  
  
  


The weekend rolled by, and his friends invited him, yet again, to go clubbing. And Chanyeol, yet again, refused.

Instead, Chanyeol sunk into his covers, his laptop next to him. He put on a Studio Ghibli movie, on Sehun’s netflix that Chanyeol mooched off of. What else are friends for?

Ten minutes into the movie and Chanyeol noticed he was not even paying attention to it. When he snapped out of his thoughts, he couldn’t even remember them. But he’d find himself spacing out more and more.

He sighed, closing his laptop. He was apparently not in the mood to watch a movie, a decision his brain made up on it’s own without consulting him.

Alright,  _ maybe  _ Chanyeol knew why he kept spacing out. Maybe, just  _ maybe  _ he was thinking about the night BBH slept over.

BBH was asleep when Chanyeol woke up from his restless slumber. It did not matter what position they were in when he did, but he definitely was not the little spoon. 

Chanyeol left a poptart on the counter in plain sight, feeling awkward. He was not sure if he should write a note or leave a text. He left quietly and Chanyeol found himself anxiously anticipating whether the brown haired boy would bring it up or not.

However, BBH hadn’t talked about it and strangely, Chanyeol hadn’t felt as relieved as he thought he would. Maybe it was because BBH was always open about his feelings and Chanyeol felt a little anxious at how he was not addressing it.

Why was he worried about it? He found himself thinking about it often despite himself. Maybe BBH was getting the hint that Chanyeol did not want to get close to him. 

Still, the feeling of dismay surprised Chanyeol. Perhaps he was getting used to the attention.

The ringing of the bell intruded his thoughts. Chanyeol pushed the covers off him and furrowed his eyebrows in thought as he wondered who it could be. He only had three friends. And Minseok lived across the city. Did Sehun and Junmyeon decide to leave early?

He pulled open the door in curiosity without checking through the peephole. He might realize soon that he should have looked anyway.

It took him a moment to register the bright smile and crescent squinty eyes.

“Yeollie, you’re here!” BBH cheered as if it were an announcement, and pushed his way past the taller into his apartment.

“Yes, this is my house,” Chanyeol pointed out, letting him in confusion, although he did not really have a choice. He watched as BBH plopped down on his bed, making his laptop jump a little.

BBH looked up at him as if this domestic interaction was a frequent and natural occurrence, and the look Chanyeol was giving him, as if he were an intruder, was offending his great ancestors.

“Why…” Chanyeol started, although he felt the question was obvious, “are you… here?”

The other blinked, and then lit up as if he just remembered the reason himself. “Oh! Yes, I forgot my scarf.”

Both of them stared at each other, Chanyeol speechless. “You could have… texted…”

“Oh, no,” BBH shook his head with a pout, but the glint in his eyes rendered it fake, “I can’t live without that scarf.”

“You did fine for two days.”

  
  
The brunet scoffed playfully, patting his cheeks  _ which were _ , if Chanyeol had to say, plenty cheek-y, “I’m on the verge of death, Chanyeollie, can’t you see? I’m wasting away.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes and picked up the scarf bunched up on the corner of his desk, and tossed it to the boy that had his pretty lips stretched into the biggest shit eating grin he had ever seen.

“Will that be all?” he asked flatly. It almost felt like de ja vu, since he normally used that question during work. 

BBH hummed in thought. Chanyeol figured he was most likely pretending to think. 

“Well, since you asked,” he smiled, “lets hang out.”

“And… why?”

He shrugged, “I need inspiration.”

“Inspiration?”

Chanyeol’s eyes followed the movement of his shoulders as he shrugged off a book bag he hadn’t even noticed on him at first. BBH pulled it onto his lap and patted it, and if Chanyeol knew any better, he would have described the action had been done in fondness. “I paint.”

“You-” Chanyeol sighed, not really knowing what to say to the man. He was thinking about blatantly refusing, but BBH would get his way anyway.

Instead, he stood and watched in exasperation as the man took out a sketchbook and grabbed a handful of brushes out of the front pocket. He gave up the tiniest lingering urge to kick him out by the time BBH pulled out a pouch, its cloth dirtied by paint stains of all colors. 

“You’re not going to leave now, are you?” Chanyeol asked, even though he already knew the answer. 

BBH simply hummed while flipping through his sketchbook, folding his legs so they were crossed. He looked up at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol stared back, and he realized a lot of today’s interaction consisted of just staring. His eyes flicked to the brunet’s lips despite himself for a fraction of a millisecond. He raised his eyebrows in question, hoping to end this strange tension, when the smaller simply continued to stare. “What?”

“Do something,” he said, as if it were obvious,

“Do- do what?”

BBH shrugged, “anything. I came here for inspiration.”

Chanyeol groaned in frustration and went to get a beer. Maybe he could handle this better with a little bit of Shitty Life Dealing Juice.

“Oh yeah, that groan was perfect.”

Chanyeol almost dropped the can out of mortified shock as he heard the words that were practically  _ moaned _ . And by the time he whipped around, BBH’s boisterous peals of laughter were filling his small apartment.

\--

Chanyeol did not deserve this.

He was taking inventory in the back as soon as the lunch rush ended, and it was a little over four minutes until his BBH arrived.

_His_ BBH? He meant just BBH, stupid autocorrect.

He was taking inventory in the back, and Junmyeon was at the register. And that dynamic was always efficient and reliable, so Chanyeol was  _ yet again _ wondering why So Ra was even hired.

The blonde girl was helping him. Although clearly, he and So Ra had two different definitions of the word “help”, because she was sitting on an empty rack, where they would normally put the cheesecakes, and chatting his ear off. She occasionally touched him, and leaned into him whenever he stood close enough for long enough. 

Chanyeol therefore did not come more than six inches close to her unless necessary.

Chanyeol sighed, as she went on about how snake print was tacky. BBH never annoyed him to this extent. Sure, the brunet made him roll his eyes, but So Ra was a different kind of breed at this.

It seemed as if she forgot about her drunken antics, and if she did not, she didn’t show it. It made Chanyeol wonder what she would be like if BBH hadn’t intervened when he did.

The man couldn’t help comparing So Ra and BBH, and he couldn’t deny that he’d rather be in the latter’s company more than the female’s. He was softer, knew when to push and when to let go.

He remembered when BBH was over that day, claiming he needed to paint. Chanyeol had blown it off as a stupid excuse and decided to watch that Ghibli movie as a point to ignore the other male. But an hour later, a “done!” sounded from his bed.

BBH had proudly held the sketchbook so Chanyeol could see the painting, and Chanyeol could not deny the talent he had. 

It was a painting of himself, watching the movie on his laptop. There was sunlight streaming in from the window behind him, and he hadn’t even noticed it until he saw it in the painting. Chanyeol was bathed in gold, his hair glowing, his skin soft, and his eyes were glistening like he’d never seen before. 

BBH hadn’t even teased him about it, and let Chanyeol enjoy his art while he got up to drink some water. And BBH had stayed over that night too, only because it was too late, and Chanyeol had found the man in his arms softer and warmer than before.

“-anyeol? Chanyeol?” 

He blinked when his eyes focused on the wave of So Ra’s hand in front of his face. She pouted when he looked at her, and he almost grimaced as he immediately anticipated the whines that would follow .

“Yeol!”

Chanyeol sighed in relief at the voice of his friend, Junmyeon poking his head in. He heard So Ra huff quite loudly beside him, but neither of them paid her any attention. They found it easier that way.

“He’s here,” Junmyeon nodded at him, and Chanyeol handed him the ledger and pen, almost running out.

Only because he needed to get away from So Ra.

He heard the slaps of flats behind him though, and he rolled his eyes. Pushing through the doors, he had to fight back a smile.

Familiar droopy eyes met his, but then flickered behind him. However, BBH’s smile remained wide as ever.

He leaned forward on the counter, and his crescent-y eyes almost made Chanyeol smile back. He busied himself with the tablet to refrain from outing himself. 

“Pumpkin?” he asked, but did not wait for him to confirm it and tapped in the order.

“Yeah baby?” 

Chanyeol’s eyes went wide and he felt heat creep up his neck at the voice BBH had used. 

He found himself stuttering, ears burning. “N-no, I meant, did you want the pumpkin spiced latte..”

BBH leaned in closer, and Chanyeol felt too aware of the distance between their lips(?!?!@?@#@$) and how it was shrinking. He realized he was unconsiously leaning in as well.

“Yeah, baby,” he purred in affirmation, and Chanyeol felt as if he were suffocating with how unbelievably hot it was in his dress shirt. 

He cleared his throat, not looking up from the tablet. “So Ra, make his latte, please.”

He was thankful when he heard her pick up a cup without arguing or coming up with a stupid excuse. Hearing her voice as little as possible was something he strived towards daily.

However, it seemed as though BBH had other plans.

He clicked his tongue, straightening up and playfully rolling his eyes, “you know, you should talk to me more. You didn’t even give me your phone number, so what's wrong with longer conversations?”

The embarrassment in Chanyeol's system was gone, and he tried to make his chuckle not sound  _ too _ endearing. “You literally come over whenever you want to,” he pointed out, “and you DM me on Instagram all the time.”

A cup was slammed down between the two, but it wasn’t the sound that helped make the realization. The cup did not have a lid, so its contents splashed violently on both of the men. Chanyeol had on an apron, but BBH wasn’t so lucky.

“So Ra!” Chanyeol gasped in horror, hand shooting out to quickly pull tissues out of the holder. He handed them to BBH, and grabbed some more when the tissues were soaking quickly. 

“We’re out of lids,” she said, standing so close to Chanyeol, he could feel the heat of her body on his left arm.

“We are  _ not,”  _ Chanyeol pointed at the stack of lids in the dispenser in exasperation, “they’re right there!”

So Ra looked as if she was going to say something else, but Chanyeol did not feel like dealing with her right now. He handed the dry tissues to BBH to wipe his hands with.

“Clean this up,” Chanyeol requested, but his patience was running low so he didn’t even try to say it nice. It was more of an order. And it was enough to make So Ra shut up.

“I’m really sorry,” Chanyeol apologized, and helped throw away the tissues. 

“It’s okay, relax,” the other laughed, although he was visibly tense.

“You could clean up,” the taller pointed to the bathrooms, but BBH shook his head, waving him off albeit half heartedly. 

“I need to change out of this,” he offered a smile, but the obvious discomfort made it falter.

“I have a spare hoodie in the back,” Chanyeol said, and BBH almost looked surprised at the suggestion, “you could clean up and change into that.” He earnestly watched BBH consider, and quickly added a, “I’ll make you a new latte? On the house.”

BBH let out a chuckle at that. “Worrying about me now, Yeollie?” he teased, yet his voice was soft and his smile was fond.

Chanyeol felt a fresh burst of blush across his cheeks. “You go ahead,” he mumbled, and BBH smiled wider and did as requested.

He turned to go into the kitchen, so he could get his hoodie from his locker in the back room. His cheeks were reddened, but his chest felt light.

“Yeollie?” he heard a condescending scoff, and immediately rolled his eyes. He turned to the girl who was  _ supposed  _ to be cleaning. Turns out she had just plopped some tissues on the spill and hadn’t even bothered to throw them away or put more.

“I asked you to clean this up,” he said dryly.

She ignored it, and he should have seen that coming. “He comes over to your place?” she went on, her face scrunched in distaste, “He’s such a whore. He’s so arrogant and stuck up, and he thinks he can get whatever he wan-”

“So Ra,” Chanyeol cut her off, eyes narrowing unbeknownst to himself. 

“What, Chanyeol?” she snapped, as if she had any right to. “He’s so fucking ugly, I can’t-”

He just left. Chanyeol pushed through the doors, leaving behind his coworker who was now yelling for his attention. He did not want to be patient with her anymore. 

Junmyeon popped his head out of the freezer at the commotion, his brows furrowed in question.

“Tell her to clean up the spill,” Chanyeol said curtly instead of explaining, and briskly opened the door to the back room, slipping inside. 

He opened his locker and took out the military green hoodie he kept there in case an accident similar to today’s would occur. It was big, maybe too big for BBH, but it would have to do.

When he got back to the front, Junmyeon was watching a red So Ra wearily as she sloppily cleaned up the mess, excess liquid splashing out when she’d splat the drenched tissues down again for some stupid reason.

Chanyeol decided to leave her with Junmyeon, and unlatched the small door at the side of the counter and got through, letting it fall back into place with a  _ click _ .

He skimmed through the mostly empty cafe quickly. Chanyeol decided BBH must still be in the bathroom.

With every step closer and closer to the bathroom door, he started feeling uneasy, although he didn’t know why. Chanyeol pushed the door open slowly, making sure BBH had time to realize the door was being opened. He didn’t know what to expect behind the door.

He poked his head in, and met eyes with BBH, who was patting his sleeves dry with a paper towel. Chanyeol smiled at him nervously, and belatedly realized he never did smile at the smaller man.

“Here,” he said, once he stepped closer and held out the folded hoodie, letting him take it. “D-did,” the taller gulped at the stutter, and cleared his throat, “did the coffee burn?”

BBH shook his head, holding the hoodie away from his body carefully so it would not get wet as well. “It was surprising at first, but then it cooled down. So no burns.”

The smile the male gave him was bright, brighter than his usual ones. His eyes squinted into those crescents and his teeth were glistening under the fluorescent lights. Chanyeol could see the tips of his sharp incisors peeking from behind pink lips.

“Chanyeol.”

Said man focused back on the man’s eyes, not even realizing he had zoned out. BBH was looking at him expectantly, but Chanyeol just gave him his own big, confused eyes.

“I mean,” BBH started, his soft lips quirked, “if you want to watch while I change..”

Chanyeol’s eyes shot wider with embarrassed realization, and whipped around. But then he further realized he should probably give the man some privacy. “I- I’ll just-” he made jerky and awkward hand movements, “I’ll-”

He walked towards the door as fast as he could, consciously keeping his face forward so he couldn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of the giggling male behind him in the mirror. 

Then again, if he did glance at the mirror, he’d see his red face and a look in his eye that’s never been there since high school.

\--

_ “Chanyeollie,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss him on the top of his head. Said boy looked up in question. “We should go to a party tonight.” _

_ He felt dread fill him instantly, and was unable to reply.  _

_ “Come on! I promised last time, didn’t I?” _

_ Slowly, he nodded his head, knowing his lover was right. He was rewarded with a blinding smile, and that alone melted away his worries. _

  
  
  


Chanyeol had an hour before he had to go to work, and he had nothing to do. No food, nothing to watch on youtube, and- well he had school work, but who gives a shit, he can do it at two in the morning.

It’s been a month since BBH had followed him. A month full of flirting, and teasing and whatnot that became normal to Chanyeol. In fact, the two had become friends of sorts. If “friends” meant one of them flirted shamelessly and was extremely touchy.

Additionally, the three besties talked to Minseok, even though it was through text, and they started catching up. They even got invited to some frat party that was tomorrow, so that went well.

And it did turn out that BBH went to Minseok’s university. Minseok even mentioned his real name: Byun Baekhyun. But even though he had assured Chanyeol that Baekhyun was not a fuckboy, Chanyeol was not believing it. Baekhyun is fuckboi!! Chanyeol said, and he stood by it. How else did he have him wrapped around his finger like that?

(Read: Chanyeol did not think the previous sentence, no way.)

So maybe the only thing to worry about was whether this Baekhyun was coming to the party tomorrow or not, because if he was that flirty normally, what was he capable of when he’s drunk? He could barely handle him while sober; perhaps Chanyeol should wear his good running shoes.

A buzz came from his phone, and Chanyeol was not surprised when the message was from Baekhyun. It read, “I heard you got my real name. That’s cheating.”

Chanyeol snorted and answered back with “we’re not playing a game.” The dark haired boy also got used to the messages at this point, and replied back easily. Occasionally. Because he still did not like the brunet like that. No, scratch that, “still” would mean he might like him in the future. He won’t ever. Never ever.

After that reply, Baekhyun stopped texting. Chanyeol put his phone down, expecting a text, probably something suggestive and provoking, but nothing. But that didn’t mean Chanyeol was  _ expecting _ expecting it. Chanyeol didn’t care, no he was  _ glad _ . Yes he was.

\--

Chanyeol was at the counter, making a frozen caramel coffee. It was a good hour after the lunch rush, so he did not have many customers. Just a girl who ordered the drink. She paid with loose change. She must be a college girl.

Chanyeol scrunched his nose while waiting for the ice to be crushed in the blender. Who would order something so cold in this weather? He turned around and looked around the empty cafe. The girl was typing away on her phone, leaning against the wall by the counter. 

He popped open the blender top and poured the contents of the blender into a cup, spraying some whipped cream and topping it off with caramel drizzle.

“Caramel cold coffee,” he called softly. There was no one else in the cafe, and she was right there, so he did not need to be louder. She looked up and smiled at him, accepting the coffee with a, “thank you.”

Chanyeol nodded absently, watching her leave. He looked at the clock, huffing at the time. 

Junmyeon was not here today, calling in sick. The bastard probably got his back blown out, but Chanyeol wasn’t going to make a fuss about it. Not now, anyway.

And so Chanyeol made sure that So Ra understood how he needed her to be in the back, so she could finish the things Junmyeon normally did. And surprisingly, the girl did not come out front at all. 

Chanyeol half wanted to check on her, to see if she was actually alive or not, because So Ra could not live a minute without talking. And only to Chanyeol, too. His barbie doll of a best friend never got this torture. 

But Chanyeol couldn’t. He felt the need to be rooted to the counter, anxiously poking at the chipping paint on the corners of it. Why? He did not know.

Perhaps destiny had something for him that day, and the universe needed him there so he could help run the course of fate smoothly. Who knows? Maybe a kitten could come clawing at the door, or a pigeon would land on the open window with a letter folded to its-

Oh, of course Chanyeol knew! Chanyeol… Chanyeol was waiting for Baekhyun. He had been waiting for forty minutes, hoping he was just late and he would walk through the door with his smile that would light up the whole cafe.

But the brunet was not here yet, and Chanyeol… 

He shook his head, trying to throw the thoughts out. Chanyeol was just concerned. He was a daily customer, and Chanyeol saw him all the time, whether at the cafe or his house (Read: only because Baekhyun would leave his things. What a klutz), and it was normal to worry about a person.

In fact,  _ not _ worrying about him would be concerning. Chanyeol was not heartless. He was heart _ ful,  _ he was the entire embodiment of the word.

Chanyeol jumped when he heard a crash from the kitchen behind him. He sighed and turned to find out what it was, glancing at the front door one last time.

\--

_ He watched from the kitchen as his boyfriend laughed loudly in the living room. He could see he was high off his head, and he sipped his tequila, remembering how his lover had pushed him away when he tried to stop him. _

_ He should have known. He never kept his promises. But Chanyeol stayed. He had to. Because how else could he love him? _

_ Chanyeol heard gasps, and a panicked scream, and he looked up. There was a crowd forming, and the churning in his pit grew violent when he saw it was where his boyfriend was.  _

_ He pushed himself off of the kitchen counter, forcing his feet to move forward. Murmurs grew louder and now everyone at the party was crowding around, but he couldn’t see the fear stricken faces of the onlookers. Maybe he didn’t want to. _

_ Chanyeol pushed through the crowd, his gut heavy, his head dizzy from the adrenaline and alcohol. He hoped against hope that it wasn’t his boyfriend, but his stomach twisted and turned. _

_ He didn’t want to see, but he had to. And through the sickening feeling inside his body, his mind asked him one question: _

_ Because how else could he love him? _

  
  
  


Chanyeol was on the way to the party. He was in the backseat of Junmyeon’s car while Sehun sat shotgun, because he had made a face and said “I pray for you guys every night and you’re going to make me sit in the back?” when Chanyeol had tried to sit in the front. 

Chanyeol was looking out the window, ignoring the couple’s flirting. He was actually thinking about Baekhyun, and how he didn’t come to the cafe the day before. Was he sick? Was he mad at Chanyeol? Why did Chanyeol care? He doesn’t even know  _ that _ one.

“Bro, you good?” Chanyeol brought his attention back to the front to find Junmyeon looking at him from the rearview mirror. The dark haired man sighed, stretching his arms back. He touched his hair, which he styled into a comma at the front (so he’ll look !daddy!). “Okay, so I think I'm  _ thinking _ about someone?”

“Are you  _ finally _ going to ask Baekhyun out?”

“I never even said it was Baekhyun!” Chanyeol exclaimed, “you guys can’t just do that.”

“Alright then, who?” Sehun rolled his eyes. The older boy huffed. “Baekhyun,” he mumbled.

Both the boys in the front snorted in unison, which was so weird. Chanyeol wondered if that ever happened to him before. There are a lot of things that are very interesting when people coincidentally do them in unison, like sneezing. 

“Chanyeol, you’ll need to tell us more,” the blonde said, making said man sigh again. “Okay, you know how he didn’t come yesterday?” he said, almost regretting it.

Junmyeon hummed in response. “Well I keep wondering if.. he’s tired of me?” Chanyeol said, his tone as if it made no sense to him either.

“Well, did you say something to him maybe?” Junmyeon asked and Chanyeol cringed inwardly. 

“I did reply to one of his texts,” he said, “but I always talk like that? So did he just lose interest in me?”

“But isn’t that what you wanted?” Sehun asked, turning back to see the older boy’s face. Chanyeol's brows scrunched at this, “I think so?”

“”Yeah, well, we’re here,” Junmyeon put an end to the conversation and pulled the car into park, “So you can figure it out tonight.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Bye, hyung!”

“Aye, assholes! You can’t just leave!”

\--

What Junmyeon had meant, Chanyeol figured out, was that Chanyeol was to brave this new territory alone. And he tried to. He walked into the house and around all the dancing and smoking and vaping and drinking, and near fucking, into the kitchen to get himself a cup. 

He’d probably need a whole bottle to get through the night, but let's start with a cup.

He poured himself a cup of heineken and drank it, and then poured another one. Suddenly, Chanyeol saw a familiar set of eyes out of his peripheral vision and he snapped his head towards the person to confirm it. Minseok!

Chanyeol’s face lit up upon seeing his childhood friend and he excitedly went over. Minseok didn’t even notice Chanyeol until he was standing in front of him, with a big smile, the one with lots of teeth. 

“Channie!” the shorter boy’s eyes shrunk into crescents, and his own big smile shone in the neon lights. 

He hugged Chanyeol and the latter reciprocated, hugging him even tighter. “I missed you, hyung,” he said, pulling away. 

“I know,” Minseok agreed, “I missed you too. How are you liking it so far?”

Chanyeol shrugged, “I just got here.” He looked around the living room and the absolute mess it was, the lights flashing and music blaring. “Where are the other two?” Chanyeol looked back to Minseok, who was looking around for the couple. 

“They left me on my own,” Chanyeol pouted, to which Minseok laughed and patted his arm. 

“Oh, and by the way,” he said, winking, “the person of interest, Byun Baekhyun, is also here.”

Chanyeol’s eyebrows shot up, eyes darting around. He heard Minseok laugh, “relax, he’s not going to eat you,” the older boy gave him a warm smile. “I’m serious when I tell you I trust him.”

The taller clicked his tongue. “Trust him, or give him your blessing?”

Minseok laughed again, and Chanyeol smiled because he missed his best friend and his cute laugh :(. “Have fun, Yeollie,” he squeezed his arm in reassurance.

And with that, Minseok also left Chanyeol to fend for himself. He sighed and decided to drink his heineken that he forgot he was holding for a while. He saw an empty spot on the couch in the living room, so he went and sat down. 

Chanyeol watched the people dance, some sober, some drunk, some high off their heads, and some both. People played beer pong and foosball and it all reminded Chanyeol of senior year of high school. 

He had a boyfriend then, and they both used to go to parties like this. Till one day, things went south. Chanyeol had since avoided parties and drugs. But he had made an exception for today, since it was a while ago. Plus, there was this dumb thing called “moving on” or whatever.

Chanyeol leaned back into the couch, wondering where his friends were. Were they in the crowd, dancing? Fucking? Probably. Junmyeon and Sehun have no shame. Chanyeol chuckled to himself, looking into the crowd of people.

And then he saw a familiar face, and he felt himself gasp. Chanyeol didn’t know what to expect from Baekhyun at a party like this, but he never could have imagined. And he didn’t know if it was the alcohol, or the lights, or the black skinny jeans and silky, loose top Baekhyun was wearing, but he looked ethereal. He was dancing as if he were sin incarnate, his hips swaying and body moving in waves, and Chanyeol swore he’d never felt this way before, whatever he was feeling.

In the midst of the crowd, Baekhyun’s eyes met his and he sent Chanyeol a chaste smile before making his way to him. The latter felt himself gay panic. Boy was shaking in his adidas. Should he run? Should he scream? Should he die? Before Chanyeol could make his mind up, Baekhyun was already there.

He swung his leg over Chanyeol’s lap as if it were the most casual thing in the world, and straddled him. “Didn’t know you were coming,” Baekhyun’s words were slurred and his breath ghosted his ear and the taller felt his neck prickle.

“Surprise?” Chanyeol mumbled, not knowing exactly what to say in the situation. He felt the brunet chuckle more than hear him. And then he felt Baekhyun kiss his neck, right under his jugular vein. He shuddered at the warmth and softness, his arms at his sides, not knowing what the fuck to do.

“So.. why didn’t you come yesterday?” Chanyeol awkwardly asked. He was pretty sure the other didn’t hear him, given how quiet his voice was, but he did. Baekhyun paused for a bit and Chanyeol wished the world would just swallow him up.

“I had some last minute assignments,” he clicked his tongue with a smug smile, “worrying about me again? What did I tell you about looking at my pictures for too long?”

And then the shorter one pulled away and faced him, face close enough Chanyeol could smell the alcohol Baekhyun drank. And for a while, all they did was stare into each other's eyes; Chanyeol feeling nervous and kind of terrified because of a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was trying to build up confidence to converse with Baekhyun, so they don’t do what they probably are going to. 

And Baekhyun, well, he just stared at him with a strange look in his eyes, which were heavily lined with eyeliner. No one could know what he was thinking.

Then the brunet leaned in and connected their lips. He kissed Chanyeol and Chanyeol shut his eyes, not knowing what to do except tentatively kissing back. He felt warm hands carefully cup his face, as if he was the most fragile thing in the world, and he was surprised at how softly Baekhyun was kissing him, even though he was drunk and dancing like the devil not even five minutes ago.

Chanyeol finally let himself place his hands on the other boy’s waist. The latter inched closer on his lap and Chanyeol noted how he tasted like alcohol, but still something else entirely. Beakhyuns lips felt velvety against his own and it could be the alcohol, but Chanyeol wanted that forever.

Chanyeol felt Baekhyun pull away slowly, yet the dark haired boy kept his eyes closed. 

And then everything came rushing back to him. He kissed someone, someone he shouldn’t have. 

_ “Oh my god,” he heard, his hands coming up to help him maneuver through people. _

He’s tipsy, at a frat party on the other side of the city.

_ The world stopped. Chanyeol felt as if he was looking through someone else’s eyes, as if it was a fever dream. The body shook violently, eyes rolled into the back of the head. _

In the midst of all kinds of smoke and intoxicated people. 

_ Chanyeol dropped onto his knees, his hands shaky and tingly as he reached for twitching, cold ones. He felt his eyes water, saw the world blur as he gripped the hand in his, calling his name over and over again. _

_ He couldn’t hear anything else, couldn’t hear the frantic talking somewhere close to him, couldn’t hear the crowd, couldn’t feel when someone put their hand on his shoulder, and couldn’t hear when they said the ambulance was on its way. _

_ All he could hear was the pounding in his chest as his lover’s body went limp, an eerie stillness that had Chanyeol hyperventilating. He felt the fear seize him whole, choking him up, and he pulled his body onto his lap, trying to shake him, as if he were just asleep.  _

_ Chanyeol lungs were moving all wrong and jerky as the paramedics took him away, his vision was swimming, and he felt hands on him, all pushing and pulling as if he were clay, and he was underwater, at the bottom of a pool, and he was too far from the surface, he was too deep. _

_ He couldn’t. _

Chanyeol couldn’t.

“Chanyeol?” His eyes opened to Baekhyun staring at him, worried. He was still on Chanyeol’s lap, still holding Chanyeol’s face, with the same tenderness in his touch and eyes. But Chanyeol couldn’t see that, he needed to go.

He pushed the brunet off of him and stood up frantically, his breath growing shallow. He dodged the swaying bodies and stumbled into the kitchen. He tried to look around for his friends, but couldn’t find them, so he ran for the front door. 

He stumbled out in a rush and grabbed onto the railing. Chanyeol gulped big breaths of air, as if it were water and he was in the middle of the desert. He ignored the looks a few people cast at him and ran to where Junmyeon’s car was parked.

Chanyeol yanked at the handle, only to remember the car was locked. Yet he still pulled at it, just to feel something because the numbness in his fingertips was terrifying him, and his vision was dotting. He felt tears wetting his eyelashes, and they were growing heavy. 

Chanyeol’s knees were all but jelly as he sunk to the concrete, and the action of taking in a breath proved to be a feat. He tried, he tried so hard to inhale but his throat constricted and his lungs were screaming at him.

He sat there up against the car, trying to choke in air, but in vain. Tears of stone cold  _ fear _ blurred his vision and darkened it at the edges, and the world sounded muffled, as if he were underground. The voices of onlookers and the shouting of his friends couldn’t be heard to Chanyeol. And it went on for a terrifying moment, which played out in Chanyeol’s head as if it were centuries, before everything blacked out.

\--

Chanyeol was cold. Chanyeol was hungry. Chanyeol was tired. 

But he couldn’t do anything to help any of that, because any bit of warmth thawed out the fear and pain in his chest, and the smell of food made him nauseous, so he only ate when he could not take the hunger any longer.

And sleep was frightening, in his cold, dark room. He hadn’t gone to work or university for three days, because he couldn’t sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, there were nightmares waiting for him. Blood, evil, and all sorts of pain that felt all too real.

So Chanyeol didn’t sleep. Chanyeol didn’t do anything except read those little notes on the sides of classwork that he and his ex would scribble: little hearts, funny faces, teasing words.

He had to pull the box out from deep within his closet, brushing off the layer of dust. There were spiders, but he couldn’t even bring himself to flinch. He just felt misplaced anger and frustration, and that made him cry again as he absently watched the spiders crawl away.

He leafed through the pages, the classwork itself sometimes being a low grade. But Chanyeol had kept it.

His eyes lingered on the stupid faces they drew, and he wondered why he kept all these papers all these years. They had parted ways a long time ago, and Chanyeol moved on.

He sighed deeply, but it felt empty, as if his chest cavity was bigger and the breath echoed within it. Chanyeol felt tired by the amount of times he’d cried, his eyes feeling raw. He leaned back against the headboard while his eyes felt as if tears were filling them again, but they weren’t. Just a ghost feeling. 

His room was a mess, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was out of beer, all the cans scattered across his bedroom floor, but it didn’t make him want to get up and at least buy more. 

His clothes were all over the place and the curtains were drawn, but all Chanyeol wanted to do was rot into his mattress.

He saw something sitting up on his desk, and he squinted to look at it better when he realized he hadn’t seen it before. Chanyeol scrambled closer on his bed when his room was too dark and no matter how much his eyes tried adjusting, it was just a blur.

“Oh.”

It was Baekhyun’s painting of him. The Chanyeol in the painting looked warm and loving, and he almost scoffed at the irony. His curly hair seemed soft and full of life, and his eyes glowed in the sunlight streaming through the window. If only Baekhyun could see him now.

His stomach growled, and he groaned when he realized it meant he had to get up.

He pushed his legs off the side of the bed and got to his feet. His limbs felt groggy and exhausted, and trudged to the kitchen, a hand on the wall to steady him. 

There was some slices of bread that he took and stuffed into his mouth, and he greedily gulped glass after glass of water. He ate as much as he could, until the nausea crept in. He figured he was dehydrated. 

There was a knock at the door at the exact moment Chanyeol was trying to let his stomach digest the food, and he sighed when a doorbell followed it. And then more ringing, and Chanyeol decided the faster he let them in, the faster his head stopped ringing.

A gasp, “Oh my goodness!”

Junmyeon hands pushed him inside, and back onto the bed gently, his eyes wrought with concern. Chanyeol saw Sehun come in as well, but was surprised to see a shorter, black haired male.

“Minseok hyung?” he croaked.

“Don’t exert yourself, Yeol,” the elder man’s voice was soft, “just rest for now.”

“Did you eat anything?” Junmyeon asked him, pulling the blankets onto Chanyeol’s limbs even though the younger tried pushing them away. 

“J-just now,” he said, voice weak, “I did.”

“Have you been drinking water?”

He hesitated, eyes flitting to the beer cans laying idle, “I…”

“Chanyeol, you must be dehydrated,” Junmyeon said, and the warmth from his hands seeped into Chanyeol's forearm.

“I-I’m okay,” he lied feebly, “I j-jus-”

“Chanyeol hyung, It’s okay,” Sehun said, and sat on his bed next to his legs, “Just rest now.”

And with that, chanyeol slowly fell asleep for the first time in three days. He fell asleep with the familiar security and warmth that helped him through his worst. And even though his dreams might not have been so pleasant, he knew he was safe.

\--

“You have to talk to him, Chan,” Junmyeon said as he held up a spoon of chicken soup to his mouth.

Chanyeol looked at the spoon in disgust, "I can feed myself hyung. What do you think I am, a baby?" He rolled his eyes and took it out of the older man’s hand. He took a tentative sip, but almost jerked back too hard when it burnt his lips.

“Talk to him,” he said again, watching as Chanyeol tried to feed himself. He almost looked ready to take the spoon back.

“He-” Chanyeol successfully took a sip, “-probably doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

“He keeps asking for you at your work,” Sehun quipped.

“How would you know?”

“I’m working your shifts, you dipshit.” Chanyeol hissed as the hat Sehun threw at him almost spilled the soup.

But in all honesty, no matter how much Chanyeol acted as if he couldn’t stand his friends, he loved them deep inside. Minseok, Junmyeon, and Sehun had stayed over the night they came, and put up with him vomiting his meals the whole night. 

The next morning, Minseok had to go. But the other two stayed behind and helped get fluids into his system and keep his food down. 

As Chanyeol sipped the chicken soup Junmyeon brought home, he wondered what to even tell Baekhyun. Would Baekhyun even want to put in so much effort to be with Chanyeol? Chanyeol, who was scared and hadn’t been in a relationship since high school?

He looked up when Sehun groaned, upset as he lost a game. The youngest proceeded to show his boyfriend, who snorted. Sehun was not satisfied with the response, his mouth open in disbelief as he continued staring at the screen.

Chanyeol decided he had more time to think about it, and he will definitely figure something out.

\--

He stared at the fading dark eye circles through the mirror while his deft fingers tried tying the apron strings together. Chanyeol had to look down at the ends of the strings when there weren't much of them for him to tie without looking. He belatedly remembered he was supposed to ask his boss for a bigger apron. 

Chanyeol sighed, finally tying the scarce ends. He figured he'd put the talk with his boss off for later, as he did every single day.

Today was Chanyeol's first day back, not just to work, but his normal life. He was stressed because of the amounts of work that had piled on him, even though Junmyeon and Sehun tried as hard as they could to bring him his work. His pay might be deducted unless he worked an extra shift every day, and Chanyeol was not sure what to do.

But most of all, the dark haired male was stressed about Baekhyun. 

He had time to think during the time he was away, and he had surely used it, hiding in his room from the outside world for a week. Chanyeol knew he had to be fair to Baekhyun. 

Now in the kitchen, he exhaled deeply, contented with the nostalgic feeling when he saw the pile of dishes in the sink, smelled the coffee, and heard the chatter of the beginnings of the lunch rush.

Chanyeol felt a soft nudge to his back, "stop smiling at the dishes like you want to kiss them," Junmyeon snorted, but it was fond because he knew Chanyeol was better, "get to the register. Unless you want So Ra to burn people's faces off."

The younger chuckled in response and swung the doors open. He smiled brightly at the sight of the bustling cafe, and people could not help but to smile back. Chanyeol felt light and free, and all of a sudden, the whole room felt it too.

\--

Chanyeol drummed his fingers on the counter anxiously, eyes flitting to the clock as if minutes can pass by in seconds. It was ten past the lunch rush. Baekhyun time.

The male felt a sense of confidence that went along with his eagerness, and it excited him. That, or it worried him so much it frayed his nerves and made him squirm in place. Whichever one it was, Chanyeol knew what to do.

The sound of the door sliding had Chanyeol shooting his head up so fast, it might have given him whiplash.

The two men stared at each other like deer caught in headlights, with their eyes wide and body frozen. Baekhyun seemed hesitant, and it made Chanyeol panic. What if he left?

So Chanyeol acted first. He gave a small smile, and he saw Baekhyun relax and give him one of his own. When he started towards the counter, Chanyeol's smile widened no matter how much he tried to bite it back, his cheek dimpling and his eyes bright.

Baekhyun chuckled quietly at his change in attitude, and he stood in front of the counter, like he always did.

"Pumpkin spiced latte?" Chanyeol asked, although he already knew. It felt like second nature at this point.

Baekhyun hummed in affirmation, digging into his back pocket for his wallet presumably, when Chanyeol shook his head. "On the house?" he offered a hopeful smile, pleading with his big eyes not to question it.

Baekhyun hesitated, but to his relief, agreed with a small smile. Both of them seemed bashful, even after all that had happened.

Chanyeol turned away to make the drink, trying to shake off his nerves all the while. He decided that to execute his plan, he'd have to make the wrong order. He made a bitter americano, popped a cap on the cup, and plucked a cup sleeve. His hands felt shaky as he uncapped his sharpie.

"Hey," he started, glancing up at Baekhyun slowly. The other was already looking at him, waiting for whatever he needed to say.

"I think we need to talk," Chanyeol thanked God he did not stutter, and observed Baekhyun’s eyes soften as he understood what Chanyeol was asking for.

"Okay," Baekhyun nodded, "when?"

"I'm- I'm not sure."

"Okay," he nodded again, "just tell me when."

Chanyeol nodded his head as well and bit his lip as he looked down at the cup sleeve. He quickly scribbled on his number and capped the marker again. He tried to keep a straight face as he slid the cup into the sleeve, and held it out for Baekhyun to take.

And there they were again, staring at each other as Baekhyun took the cup from him. They both offered small smiles and Chanyeol was so deep into the brown eyes that he hadn't noticed Baekhyun's fingers had not wandered that time, that they did not take the opportunity to ghost across his skin.

\--

“Hey.”

Chanyeol took a deep breath before smiling, nervously looking at the brunet in front of him. Baekhyun was wearing an oversized white t-shirt and some sweats, and his eyes seemed more droopy behind his circle, wire-rimmed glasses.

He played with his pants where his hands rested at his sides, “hey.”

Baekhyun smiled and moved aside to let the male in. Chanyeol walked in nervously, waiting until Baekhyun closed the door behind them and went in first. He followed the shorter, and sat down when he was gestured to.

Baekhyun sat across from him and they both stared at each other, Chanyeol himself too nervous.

“What did you want to talk about?”

Chanyeol exhaled deeply. “About the party.”

He glanced up from his clasped hands and saw Baekhyun listening with his complete and undivided attention, brows furrowed and his eyes screamed nothing but seriousness. That eased some of Chanyeol’s nerves.

“When I was in highschool,” he started, gaze back on his hands, “I had a boyfriend. He was… like you, in a way, so I was afraid to let you into my life. At all. 

“He was bright and cute and everything you are, and I was just afraid. Because he also did drugs.” Chanyeol glanced up again, but Baekhyun’s face just showed understanding. He went on.

“And at first, it was just weed and edibles, and he always told me he knew what he was doing. But at some point, he would start taking psychedelics, and his friends would call me because he’d pass out. I’d have to pick him up and take him home.

“And every time I asked him, he would shut it down, say there was nothing to talk about because he knew how to take care of himself. And so I believed him, because I didn’t want to fight him.

“But then one day,” Chanyeol’s hands felt shaky, so he inhaled, “we got invited to a party at a lake house. It was some girl’s parent’s lake house, and she invited the whole grade. And it was a nice party. There was alcohol and music; just like any other party. But then someone brought drugs.

“He pushed me away when I told him to slow down, so I went to the kitchen and drank something. I wasn’t drunk though, just a bit buzzed. But I was keeping my eye on him. Then, somehow, I had looked away, and all of a sudden people were gasping and shouting, and there was a crowd forming where he was. I didn’t want to think about it as i tried to get to the middle, but the feeling never escaped my mind-”

Chanyeol looked up suddenly, wide eyed, as a slender hand held onto his clasped ones. 

Baekhyun hesitated, “your hands were shaking… I’ll let go if you want me to.”

But Chanyeol shook his head, and sighed. “He OD’d,” he finished quietly. “And I was so scared that day, I could never see him again. I never even dated anyone after that.”

“Did what happened at the party bring it all back?” Baekhyun asked softly, and although Chanyeol couldn’t see them, his eyes were earnest when the taller nodded in reply.

“So when I was gone, I made sure to think everything through. And I knew I had to be fair to you.”

The hand on his squeezed in reassurance, and they were bathed in silence. What kind? Chanyeol didn’t know. On one hand, he felt as if the world had lifted off of his chest now that it was out. And on the other, Baekhyun hadn’t confirmed he wanted anything to do with him anymore.

So, Chanyeol had to make sure.

He cleared his throat, “I would understand if you want to stop… whatever this is.”

Chanyeol found that he could not look up at the other’s face, afraid. Baekhyun removed his hand and he heard him move, but Chanyeol was frozen in place, not able to look up at where the smaller was going.

A sudden warmth next to him surprised him before the couch sank. Baekhyun’s slender hands were back on his, and Chanyeol finally found the strength to look up at him.

The soft, warm smile he was met with washed away his anxiety like a hot shower, and he let himself release the breath he was holding.

“Thank you for telling me, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said, holding Chanyeol’s hands in a way that made the latter’s heart flutter, “it was probably hard to trust me like you did, and I’m very grateful for that. I’m touched that you thought of me when you were making a decision, but I hope you know that more than being fair to me, you have to be fair to yourself.”

Baekhyun seemed to hesitate before he went on, voice soft and velnerable. “Do  _ you _ want to continue?” 

But when Chanyeol nodded, his lips stretched prettily, and his eyes squinted up, and Chanyeol decided Baekhyun’s smiles were his favorite in the whole world.

“Well then,” the smaller said, “I promise to ease your worries and your fears as much as I am capable of.”

Chanyeol’s muscles relaxed, and he hadn’t even noticed they were tense. He let Baekhyun pull him closer, his head nestled in the crook of the brunet’s neck, thighs touching. And they stayed like that, Baekhyun’s thumb rubbing the back of Chanyeol’s hand, as the ticking of the clock echoed within the room.

“So  _ do  _ you want to…”

“Want to?”

“You know,” Chanyeol blushed, “continue.”

Baekhyun laughed. “Yes I do.”

Chanyeol let out a happy sigh, snuggling closer to Baekhyun. The clock ticked some more, and Chanyeol watched the thumb rubbing his hand.

“You know,” Baekhyun murmured above him, “I didn’t think I’d be saying “I do” so quickly into the relationship. Does this mean we’re married now?”

“Let me have one, just  _ one, _ simple evening.”

“No, but Chanyeol, I practically said my vows! This isn’t fair, why do you get to blush and look cute and get away with everything?!”

“Baekhyun! _ ” _

\--

“Can you guys  _ stop _ talking at the register?!” So Ra screeched, mop in hand, “I  _ get  _ it, you’re  _ dating _ !”

The couple burst into giggles. So Ra huffed and stormed into the kitchen, mop dragging behind her. Junmyeon could be the one to yell at her for that one, Chanyeol decided.

The cafe was empty, as it always was at this time, and Baekhyun hung around for half an hour since he got there. Chanyeol’s shift would be over in ten minutes, and they both had a date planned afterwards.

“You know what,” Baekhyun piped up, “I’m feeling like some coffee.”

"Okay,” Chanyeol said, with his smile growing so big that he almost laughed out the words, “what would you like today?"

"Hmm," the brunet hummed, making a grand show by tapping his chin with a finger, and sporting one of his own ridiculous smiles. "What would you recommend?"

Chanyeol felt giddy, felt like giggling like a schoolgirl and melting into a puddle of goop. "Our pumpkin spiced latte is good."

Baekhyun had bitten his lip to stop smiling so big, but the mirth was still in his eyes. 

“Pumpkin is going a bit out of style. Maybe darling sounds a little better?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks guys for enduring that :,) leave some comments and kudosss, I love y'all. 
> 
> (also maybe I was the girl who ordered frozen caramel coffee and paid with loose change)


End file.
